No, I am not referring to the TV program, so if you’re hoping for a biting viewpoint on the Aussie soap tune out now, because I’ve never seen an episode. Sorry, but I am talking about my neighbours.
Now do you know your neighbours? I don’t. Perhaps I should have gone an introduced myself when they moved in a few months ago. But I was shy. Or couldn’t be bothered. One of those two, or rather more accurately a mixture of the two.
Anyway this has some importance suddenly because they are making a lot of noise at night. Not parties or anything crude. Nor have I seen or heard loads of people coming and going, but late at night around half one or so, the talk starts up. I can’t hear precisely what they are saying, which is just as well because my active imagination has already gone to extremes.
And my two favourite theories are as follows – prostitution or drugs. I played with the idea of illegal deportations but frankly I think I’d see more people milling around so that idea has been put on the back burner (for now). Now the reason I have jumped to these fairly far-fetched ideas is because I never see either woman during the day (no I’m not spying on them, but seriously why do they never go food shopping? Or take out the rubbish? You have to admit that does look rather strange.)
Yes these ideas might be silly but they are also in place to prevent me going downstairs (we live in a sort of flat arrangement) and asking them to shut up, because I haven’t entirely dismissed the absurd possibilities. What if I come across a pimp? And other than the stereotypical gold chains and furs, which would look out-of-place in a residential area in Brighton, how does one tell what a pimp looks like? Or what if they open the door and there’s empty needles all over the floor? Plus very occasionally the police come by….well alright they drive by….
I am now realising somewhat belatedly that I have wrongly accused my perfectly innocent neighbours of horrible crimes without the slightest fault on their part, and it is all down to my own sleep deprivation.
New idea: must buy earplugs.